The news came as a shock. A husband, father, brother, and cornerstone of his community passed away unexpectedly last month. He was my younger cousin, on the eve of his 60th birthday. Messages of care and concern lit up our family chat. I know from experience that his wife and children are going through a lot right now. They’ll have so much to deal with in the months and years ahead.
Right now they’re surrounding themselves with people who can carry them through their grief. They should take the time they need. But at some point my cousin’s wife will stop asking, “How can I possibly move forward?” and start asking the practical questions, “What needs to happen so I can move forward?”
The first and sometimes hardest thing to do after the loss of a spouse or partner is to accept help. Friends will ask what they can do, but they may not know what you need. Some people will have knowledge or experience that will be beneficial. Others may simply be comforting to have around. Getting organized can help you focus and cope with everyday details and decisions. Here are some ways to make that happen:
Don’t rely on your memory. Start a spreadsheet that you can keep continually updated as you work through various tasks. You’ll need to contact Social Security, insurance providers, pension administrators, and financial institutions. Use your spreadsheet to document who you talked to and when, what they said, and the next steps.
Write things down. Consider carrying a small notebook where you can jot information and thoughts as they come up or use the Notes app on your phone. There will be a lot to think about, and there’s no reason you should be expected to keep any of it in your head.
Make a file. Keep important documents together in one place, starting with a few certified copies of the death certificate. Also include the will, insurance policies, benefits statements, and statements for accounts in your partner or spouse’s name. You may also have a community property agreement or trust documents you will want to include. If you’re handling an estate, keep receipts of any expenses.
Take it easy. Don’t feel like you have to do it all right away. Financial companies like banks, credit cards, and mortgage lenders have specialists who deal with bereavement. They’re trained to be patient and help you through the process. They also know there are laws protecting you.
Lean on professionals. Work with your attorney, financial planner, and tax advisor to get help handling your spouse’s affairs. Get a handle on the future by learning how to protect your assets and investments, secure your cash flow, and know your rights as a survivor.
Be skeptical. Sadly, scammers target widows and widowers. Be extra cautious when people contact you. Remember, if a deal looks too good to be true it probably is. High-pressure tactics and rushed deadlines are also signs that something fishy is going on.
Your Arrivity financial planner is here for you, whether you’re focusing on the long-term or you need to make some decisions right away. Keep reading for some practical ways we can help.
3 ways your financial planner can help after the loss of a spouse:
- Assess your cash flow by taking into account changes in your sources of income like survivor benefits, life insurance, and social security.
- Review your investment portfolio to make sure your asset allocation is appropriate for your risk tolerance and retirement strategy.
- Connect you with an estate planning attorney to update your will, healthcare directives, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations.
Tell us what you think! If you’ve worked with someone on the Arrivity team to create your financial plan, we’re looking for your feedback. Please take a moment to complete our short anonymous survey HERE.
Please contact us at 206.217.2583 or info@arrivity.com if we can assist you or someone you know with financial planning.
Liz is a Late Boomer in the sandwich generation who started an independent writing and brand consulting practice after years as a senior marketing executive. She lives in Seattle, Washington. Her mother lives nearby and her daughter is a recent college graduate.
The foregoing content reflects the opinions or perspective of Liz Behlke and/or Arrivity financial planners and is subject to change at any time without notice. Content provided herein is for informational purposes only and should not be used or construed as investment advice or a recommendation regarding the purchase or sale of any security. There is no guarantee that the statements, opinions or forecasts provided herein will prove to be correct. Past performance may not be indicative of future results. Indices are not available for direct investment. Any investor who attempts to mimic the performance of an index would incur fees and expenses which would reduce returns Securities investing involves risk, including the potential for loss of principal. There is no assurance that any investment plan or strategy will be successful. Arrivity does not give tax or legal advice. Tax and/or legal strategies should be discussed with a professional before implementing.